6/13/17
Again we met at Starbucks. This time Sheila had a first draft of her essay to show me. I went over it making sure she knew for this draft we would only check to make sure the message of the essay was clear. Her introductory paragraph was a little unorganized logically and didn't read well so we worked to improve that. It was mostly organizing the sentences in an order that makes sense. I explained to her what a good introductory paragraph is like and how it might flow logically. We also worked on her first opening sentence to make it more interesting. Then we moved on to the body paragraphs where largely it was the same problem. I tried to help her create a better flow in the essay. After that we talked for a little while about her family here in Tallahassee what they do for work.
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